It’s no longer news that, a 48-year-old man, have been arrested for sleeping with his wife’s sister. According to the 13-year-old victim her aunt’s husband who she refers to as ‘Daddy’ usually play adult videos for her to watch then sleep with her.
She also revealed that the man has been sleeping with her in his shop and at their apartment on Surulere Street, Lagos state, with a threat to kill her if she told anyone. It was also reported that the victim has been living with her aunt since she was nine years old, after her father’s demise. Here are some few lessons you should learn from the incident;
1: Don’t over trust anyone: Over the years one of the most terrible factor that have aided r*pe is the over trust, and confidence many parents have for their male friends and family members. As a mother/father It is better to be over protective than to be under protective. Don’t let your child have too much body contact with any adult male she come across, no matter the relationship she has with that person, be it her uncle or cousin. No one is too “familiar” to be used as an agent of darkness by the devil.
Most parents are unaware of the facts that even relatives can not be trusted. That so called uncle/cousin, you don’t want to imagine what he might do to your girl in your absent. My advice to to you as a father/mother of a girl child is that you must protect your girl child from all male family members, regardless of how related they are to you.
However, in as much as you are trying to protect your girl child it’s also important you do it in such a way that won’t hurt that male friend/family member of yours, because no man suspected to be a Rap*st will feel happy about it. Protecting your child doesn’t necessarily means scolding your girl child to despatch her body from that person in his presence, you can easily over look it and scold her in his absent.
2: Monitor your girl child no matter her age: Many parents have exposed their children to danger, thinking they are too young so no one in is right senses will think of defiling her. But the bitter truth is that, it is just your thought because there are a lot of s*nseless men out there who are ready to take advantage of any girl even a day old baby, so protect your girl child as much as you can.
3: Try to avoid sleeping under different roof with your girl child: This also brings me to the issue of sending your girl child to live with relatives, or spend holiday with relatives or family friends where there are males and you won’t be able to monitor what it’s going on. I will advice you to stop it immediately, because you are unknowingly endangering the life of your daughter.
I know sometimes it is hardship that makes parent send their girl child to live with relatives but my advice to you is that, it is better to suffer that hardship with your child and she is okay rather than sending her where she will have a comfortable live but end up being abused. For example, in the story above If this girl was living with her parents not her aunt, it would have been more difficult for the man to take advantage of her.
4: Monitor your girl child’ mental health: Facial expressions says a lot about people who are suffering from some life problems. Always monitor your girl child’s mood, and take notice of her facial expressions. Also try to have a deep conversation with her if you notice any change in her behavior. E.g always feeling sad, always trying to isolate herself from crowd, feel awkward when any male friend/ family member visits and so on.
5: Have a close bond with your girl child: Don’t be too strict or harsh on her when she approaches you with any s3xu*lly oriented word, try to maintain your calm and encourage her to talk to you if she’s harassed or abused.
This is very important because most teenage girls find it difficult to confide in their parents especially mothers when facing this issue. In fact they even feel so embarrassed to talk about it especially if its an uncle or a male family friend, hence you must create an enabling environment for your girl to speak to you.