This is Why We Should Not Go Against Our Parents’ Wishes When Choosing a Life Partner
Obinna woke up to meet his older sister in the sitting room, her head bowed, talking silently to their mother. He was very surprised because he hadn’t seen her in over eight years since she got married against their mother’s wish. He had been eleven years old then and did not really understand what went down and why his mother had been so against the marriage. But after his sister left, they hadn’t seen her again until today. Had she come in the night? Obinna wondered.
“Sister good morning,” he greeted her cautiously. His sister sniffed, her head still bowed, and replied his greeting. Had she been crying? He wondered. “Good morning Mother,” he greeted his mother. His mother replied, then her eyes told him they needed some privacy, so he went outside to do his morning chores, all the while wondering what happened to his sister.
His sister Amaka was telling their mother her ordeal at the hands of her husband. Just as the elders would say, ” what an old man sees while sitting, even if a child climbs the tallest iroko tree, he would not see it.” Their mother had not liked the suitor her daughter Amaka had brought home. “This man is not a good person,” their mother had said. “But he would take care of me Mother,” Amaka had insisted. “Money isn’t the most important thing my dear,” their mother had countered. “But money is important Mother. I want to go back to school. He has agreed to it. He has a good business and is completing his house. If things improve for me and I get a job after my education, I would take care of Obinna. I can send him to school.” “All these are good,” their mother said, “but I do not have a good feeling about this man. Wait for another man my dear. I know what my mind is telling me.” Amaka thought their mother was only being unnecessarily paranoid and did not want to miss out on the opportunity of marrying a comfortable man. Her father had died because they could not afford his medical bills and she and her little brother could not afford to go back to school. So, she had refused to heed her mother’s advice and had gone on to marry her husband.
“He stopped me from communicating with or visiting you Mother. I had wanted to come back to you this whole time but I was very scared. Now, I could lose my son,” and Amaka began to cry again. She could not raise her face to her brother when he greeted her because she was ashamed. Her face bore not just tears but marks of her husband’s abuse. He had coerced her through fear throughout the duration of their marriage, preventing her from maintaining ties with her family so she wouldn’t have anyone to go to to complain.
“I have had four miscarriages Mother, one a month after I married him. Junior was the only one who stayed.” She couldn’t go to the police. Her husband was such a strong force, she could never overpower him. She had run away the night before after she could no longer bear his brutality, but she couldn’t take her son with her. Running away meant she had lost her son, her business and her husband would freeze her bank account unless she went back to him.
What is your take on this?